Vitrolic About the News

First, superhero comic-related antics:

Marvel to introduce new villain for Spider-Man

Marvel displays their knack for underestimating the intelligence of the human race.

(Although to be fair...the design isn't THAT bad.)

Guess who's back among the living to start off Final Crisis?

IT'S GRANT MORRISON, THERE MUST BE A CATCH!

OH GOD IT'S GEOFF JOHNS, THERE IS NO CATCH!

And now, news that matters:

Here's the plan: Kill myself by blowing up my high school, and then when I get to heaven, kill Jesus. It's perfect!

Why couldn't have I thought of something like this? Real life is full of much more creativity than one would imagine!

Title

I'm free! Now I can finally return to...whatever it was I was doing.

Don't Know what They're Missing

Videogame industry afraid to ask Grant Morrison for assistance.

Highlight from this story from a year ago that I have just read:

"A few years ago, he was given a chance to make an impact on video games. He was asked to write a script for the 2003 Xbox game "Battlestar Galactica." Morrison dove in to provide some depth to the tale of war between humans and enemy Cylons. "I had come up with whole storylines and was trying to do more emotional stuff," he said. "The missions were more weird. You had to find an [alien] brain and feed it sugar so it would come alive and tell you where to go next."

"I wrote this huge thing breaking down the whole game into segments and levels. The idea was to create a city that was really immersive. You could go into places and really unusual things might happen if you go into certain stores. You go into one place and you can learn voodoo from the proprietor of the store, and then have to go on missions involving that. The vehicles you could actually get were more interesting, like UFOs, flying saucers and boots that would allow you to bounce around over skyscrapers."

I, in fact, love some of you

Oh yes, exam essay thing. And sickness. Boy do I feel like a million bucks.

And then I saw this and winced a bit. Or, it could mean that Grant Morrison was nearly 10 years ahead of his time, rather than a late-to-the-bandwagon knockoff that nobody seems to notice is such. Maybe I'm being too kind, though. Or maybe I'm not - the concepts aren't THAT similar, except for 'every superhero is an ape now' and the fact that it has Ape in the title. I don't even know how hard I'm being on it now.

I groaned at this. There are many things wrong with it:

1. Mortal Kombat sucks
2. The incongruent nature of the two universe
3. Mortal Kombat sucks
4. It's also a terribly late bandwagon jumper
5. Mortal Kombat sucks
6. Lame seriousness of the trailer
7. Mortal Kombat sucks

So, I'm prepared to ignore this, because seriously, Mortal Kombat sucks.

I think that's all I'm obligated to say for now.

I hate you all

Exams. They are scary and such and such.

Well, back to videogames.

I'm not going to name names, but there was a controversy in the games community recently, and...it more or less hastened my recent and ongoing drifting away from the game news and fan community. This has been the one geek community I've been part of as long as I can remember, but with my new found superiority streak, I've noticed a complete lack of, well, intelligence within the group. Most 'Gamers' seem to be becoming more and more annoying, getting bent out of shape for almost every little thing that dare defaces their little hobby, and seem unaware of the world around them. And let's not forget the armchair stock watching, the rampant fanboyism, and the fact that most that I've seen are just completely boring. I still love the games themselves (though I've been playing less recently, blame the so-called 'important things' in life), but I'd rather only talk about them with people I like, and we'd be all like "You know that one that's coming out? It looks awesome." and then I'd be like "Oh yeah, it does."

Now, one thing I've noticed is that if you ask a game nerd what game they'd like to see the most, they'd most likely ramble on about a sequel to something or a remake. This is typical of nerdy behaviour, but I find it kind of distressing. I mean, new versions of awesome games are good and all, but I don't hear enough people asking for games with a certain concept rather than a certain name brand. For example, two ideas I'd like to see made:

-A game that plays like an old-fashioned arcade beat-'em-up (linear levels ending in a ridiculous boss battle), but with modern ideas of environmental interaction and upgradeable stuff and big movesets and stuff. I haven't played God of War, which I'm sure is the closest thing I can get. Maybe I should, but the main reason I've stayed away for so long is that...I can't really get into the atmosphere of the game. I'd like to see someone do something a bit less...serious with the concept. (Yes, this isn't that terribly creative either, but it's still a concept and not a series continuation!)

-An RPG or something with a community-building element. As odd as it sounds, I got this idea from Digimon World on the PS1. It's not a terribly good game, but one idea in it I quite like is the idea of finding people out on your adventures and convincing them to move to your town, and they would in turn open up something new for you in the town. Make it even more customizable, and I'm even wetter.

That's about all I got right now. Hopefully I'll remember some more things I want another day.

Back

What I like about having my laptop back is that I can post things like this anywhere, any time. I missed you, sweetie.

I'm looking for a job for the summer. It is difficult. I think I was lucky to get the job I already have, as it seems decent supplementary occupations are far from a dime a dozen. A lot of help needed out in the nearest national park. Unfortunately, I am neither cook material, and I also think places with lots of bugs are way icky. I also don't trust my ability to supervise kids. I'd probably accidentally let a kid drown in the lake, creating not one, BUT two murderous psychopaths sometime in the future.

About the only thing I've found that I'd even consider doing is working at a hotel. And it's a low ranking hotel job, mind you. But it seems those low ranking jobs allow for the most freedom. One thing I like about the job I have currently is that I'm stuck in one place - I get to move around, and even go outside! It's the life, I tell ya. A life that unfortunately likes to give me few hours.

The other thing is - I really don't want another job like the one I have now. I want to try something different. But I've been rejecting different ideas left and right. I'm a self-defeating moron.

Hey look, an opinion! About a videogame! It's long and stupid!

It's been nearly a month since Smash Bros. Brawl was released. This will probably be the last thing I'll write about it ever again (with the exception of probably contributing to this.) The game is out, we know everything about it, the reviews are in, and generally if you wanted to buy it you probably have.

Here's my opinion: I don't think they should make anymore Smash Bros. games.

You might be thinking "The game's only been out for month! You still have time to absorb what Brawl gives you! Why would you be thinking about the future now?" The reason I am is because others are, and I'm constantly surrounded by a fan base who started looking towards the future in February. So basically, I don't think for myself.

Apparently Nintendo has been sending out a survey asking whether or not you would like another Smash Bros. This makes sense, but on the other hand doesn't. Durrrr, I don't know; do you think the millions of people who bought this game would want you to make another one? Well, I guess I'm the exception to the rule. I wouldn't want them to make another one.

Errrr, okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. Would I buy another Smash Bros.? Of course I would, I'm a slave of the series. But I just don't think they should make another, which is about the fifth time I've said that, and I haven't even provided any reasons yet!

Why don't I want another one if I'm such a big fan? Pretty simple, really. I think Brawl is the peak, the farthest they can go with this idea. Any more games in the series would just be spinning the wheels.

I mean, just look at all the things in Brawl. Online, fully-realized adventure mode, stage editor, hundreds of songs, pretty much every major Nintendo franchise well-represented...what could they possibly add in a future game that would be new or exciting? Oh, and don't say 'a better online mode!', because that's not adding, that's just refining. And while the Brawl online isn't perfect, it feels fine for me.

Aw, the representation statement, better go into that. I can barely think of any other Nintendo series that NEED to be Smash Bros. (I think Punch-Out!! and Advance Wars are about the only two 'major' ones left, and they were both represented by non-playable things). And keep in mind, while I love obscure gems like Drill Dozer and Elite Beat Agents, I can completely understand while they weren't chosen to be playable, and why they probably never will. I look at all the character choices in Brawl, and pretty much every one represents something integral to Nintendo. It's probably harder to convince some kid why ROB or the Ice Climbers fit this bill, but they do. In a recent Dojo update, Sakurai mentioned how there seemed to be a large time gap between series represented in Brawl, and how Nintendo hasn't had that many titles in recent times that more or less work in Smash Bros. I laughed at the nerds taking this a sign that Nintendo is losing creativity or something along those lines, as those very same people almost always ignore the games I mentioned above. But I can see Sakurai's statement on two sides: good that Nintendo is branching out into new things, but I guess not so good if you love the character-based games of old. I guess that could go into another argument about how another reason there shouldn't be another SB is because they are moving away from making the types of games that support the series, but I won't.

So yeah, aside from the lack of possible new gameplay additions, I don't think they have many (or maybe any) characters they just HAVE to add into a future game. After Melee, there still were many characters that were just essential. Pit, Wario, Diddy, Meta Knight, Dedede...And guess what? They ALL got into Brawl. Hell, even SONIC, a character we all wanted but never expected, got in. After this...there just isn't anyone else who feels missing. And the side characters that keep getting mentioned by fans? Not essential at all. Also, I don't really accept the idea that more third parties lining up would solve this, as (1)they are entirely opportunist and thus don't have much chance of getting included and (2)having too many third party characters kind of dilutes the point of the game. As cool as finally getting Mario, Sonic, Mega Man, Pac Man, and what have you in the same game would be, it doesn't feel like it's a must for me.

On a slightly separate tangent, I can't help but feel partially responsible for spawning the terrible character cults and leading many online idiots to be disappointed in Brawl's final roster. As you may or may not have known, I was the one to tally up the number of character references in the very early Brawl 'give me suggestions and maybe I'll print'em!' deal. My numbers were referenced for long periods afterwards, and with each new character revealed (all belonging to the upper echelons of my list, and all of which were pretty obvious inclusions in any case), it gave several fans the idea that their favorite character was obvious. And then, after spending months talking about how awesome Ridley, Krystal, or Geno would be...you find out that they were relegated to non-playable roles, or in the case of Geno, not included at all. So to all you whiny freaks: I guess I'm kinda sorry.

So, lots of words to get two main points across: I don't want them to make anymore Smash Bros. games because there isn't any more essential features or characters they could add. I could have just posted this, but that would have saved you and me time.

"How about a DS Smash Bros.?" you may ask. Well, I'm not entirely for that either. No matter how they go about that, wouldn't it just end up being Brawl with less stuff? What would be the point, then? I know, the idea of portable Smash Bros. probably trumps any counterpoints, but I still don't support the idea. Maybe if they got the Jump Superstars guys to make a SB similar to their game, I could see more worth in it.

Speaking of new ideas, that's another thing I would be fine with them doing. Retire the Smash Bros. series and use the concept of bringing your favorite characters together in a different type of game. A puzzle game, a strategy RPG...as long as it's a genre I enjoy, seems good to me.

But as mentioned before, it's only been about a month. Maybe in another 5 years I'll change my tune. And then maybe I'll waste your time with another long winded essay about why I was wrong the first time. I'm weird that way.

Shiny

New 7-11 cups: Iron Man! All look neat, but all are tiny like the Spidey 3 cups from last year. Still, it's Iron Man! There's even some straws! Straws with Iron Man and Iron Monger! Overpriced as shit, but still they're there!

And so, I go back to my absence having regaled you with the latest news of cups and straws. G'day.